it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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