its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
