You made me cry and you don't even care
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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