she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
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