i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
