Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
