The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
