Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
