I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
