Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
