if you like me you must not know who I am
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
