she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
