very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
True strength comes from lack of pants
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
