last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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