I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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