i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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