He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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