If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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