He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
