I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
