I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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