But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
