It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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