If i come over, it means nothing
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize