My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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