Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
