47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
