and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
