Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
