He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
