...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
