The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
