i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
