I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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