I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize