WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
