you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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