Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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