sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
