I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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