Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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