What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
