Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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