I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
