i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
