ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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