so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
