I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
