i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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