I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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