So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
