I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
