i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
