I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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