What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
