Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
