i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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